The ridiculous world of Mr. Smiley and acquaintances(?)
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Sumtin Smert

I’m not the sharpest tool…the brightest bulb… but I’m actually researching things, for my current writing project. Research isn’t my kind of thing, because it causes me more questions than it answers, most of the time.  I would much rather run naked directly into the fire, to be honest.

My project is a HUGE bitch, because it’s about life 4000 years ago. Back when (some would have us believe) we were still dancing with dinosaurs. ;)

This project started out as a stream of dialog, that drove the story line along wonderfully. Great, great brainstorm to begin with. Best blast of creativity I’ve had in a few years.  And then suddenly, after a week of isolation from family and friends- I got nothing to show for it? The file just disappeared from my computer. Like it was never even there, not even in the recent documents list. I don’t know if it was a glitch in Open Office, or what, but it was lost. I’ll never be able to replace it exactly, but I’m still in love with the premise of the story.  Part of that premise is how times have changed, but people and their roles in society  haven’t as much as you might think.

Anyway, so I’m out exploring life 4000 years ago.  And I still haven’t found the exact stage I’m looking for, for this little drama.  One question leads to a dozen, as most of my research always does.  Because I’m a Euhemerist (I just found this out), this has turned into a quite a complex task to sort out.  (That means that I believe that Gods/Heroes of myths were real people, who’s stories become so elaborate over time, they transcend from being mere mortals into Gods).  So, I’m spending as much time learning mythology and well as my geography, as well as plotting events on my timeline.

All of that is to say, I haven’t got time for you now!  All kidding aside, I’m being overloaded with information, which is actually taxing to my creativity.  I’m having to suck all this stuff in, for a dozen historic cities, dozens of jobs, along with trying to divide myths from reality, to paint a portrait of something really bad that happened long ago, that you may not have ever heard about, but should have.  It was far more important to world history than when the Picts invaded Scotland.  Time travel is not so easy and not much fun when you have purpose in mind.

This started because I got really tired of hearing only about what they were digging up in Egypt.  The world has always been larger than Egypt, I think?  It seems we have 10,000 years of history in the North, and only 6,000 years of history in the South, but the Southern continent get all the good press!  I worry about the damage we’ve done to antiquity and discovery with the Gulf Wars, and even WWII.

I stumbled upon the legend of Fenius Farsa, the King of Scythia, so called creator of the Gaelic language in Ireland and Ogham?  Being of Euhemerist school of thought, I don’t doubt that there was a con man from the Middle East, who claimed to the King Scythia in the first century BC (maybe he was?).  I mean how ironic is that he came from the land where they speak Farsi, and his name is Farsa?  I doubt that he had anything to do with Farsi or Gaelic, however.   Fenius is believed to come from meaning Phoenician.  It just all sounds like a con-man’s name game to me, who came and took advantage of their kings.  Fenius was suppose to there at the building of the Tower of Bable, but trouble is that first century BC is far too late for such an event to have occured.   Best date for Mosus was the mid 1400’s BC, a thousand years before good old friend, Fenius.

This is just the type of distractions I frequently run into.  Fenius is one, that I’ll need to learn more about, because to me, he sounds like a crack-up and a half.  I’d be willing to bet that Fenius came from the first century AD, and the Irish pushed him back farther into history because of his wild claims.  What there is no doubt about to me, is that Fenius doesn’t fit in my timeline at all, for my story that I want to tell.  I just don’t really want to make too many huge stupid mistakes, even in a tale of fiction.

We live in a wonderful age, where DNA science will explain who we are, really.  But you know, that politics will get in the way of progress, sadly.  It always seems to.


Remove his funny bone?

I’m not being funny. A funny thought goes through my mind from time to time, but I just can’t get on a roll, you know? Not enough spread in my head, to write something. There is rhythm to comedy, and I’m just not feeling it right now. This is the time of year of my mid-winter depression, which last until April. I don’t know why? I know it’s normal, I just can’t figure out how to shake it off for just an hour. Who am I kidding, my normal article takes about 3 hours to write these days. And a month to read- yeah, yeah, very funny!


Why the PIN-UP

This is not a response article to anything, I’ve had no complaints at all. It’s just something that has been on my mind for a long while, that I’d like you to understand about me.

Birth of Venus

I love Botticelli’s Birth of Venus, because it is nearly 600 years old, and it’s been a poke in the eye the whole time! And Big Red is HOT! And the fact that she’s being handed off to those sexually repressive humans that want to cover her up, cracks me up too.

Nude Reclining

I love the pinup girls, from the Farah (Sex hair) poster, to classics (airbrush masters), to even the Nude Center Fold models, because of their playful fun sexuality. I don’t showcase them because I’m some kind of a pervert (but maybe a little of that too), I do it because we are still on the wrong track emotionally.

The Black Madonna of Jasna Gora, Byzantine-Russian Icon, 14th Century

When you look at the history of art (REALLY LOOK AT IT) and western civilization, it’s exactly where Christianity went wrong!!! Demonizing natural urges, really? What many of you may not realize is the Christian Church was founded on the belief that they were the very last generation, and you shouldn’t be pregnant when all hell breaks loose- which is totally laughable still! Sell everything, and give it to the poor, because you don’t need it, was the message for several generations. So while the pagan was out having fun… How did we survive 2000 years?

Devotees of Dionysos (Bacchus)Celebrate Him with Song and Dance

Many people fall in love with the Greek Myths even to this day, because of the joyous nudity of the art left behind. The Myths survived, because it was hard to repress it, and hide it, when it was so graphic on every broken pot found in your backyard!

Vitruvian Man

Even the Renaissance was a dark age for art. It wasn’t until the rebellion of French in the 1860s, and their flailing around to compete with the new art of photography, that humans truly were reborn, and completely liberated in Western Culture. That’s why the cliché is a French Nude Painting over the bar in the western saloon.

Yet many of you “GOOD PEOPLE” are still repressed by silly superstition. I ask you one favor; Respect my lack of it, because I don’t believe for even one moment that God is the Cosmic NONSEXUAL Killjoy! This is not how he wanted you to be. Do you need a lesson in the birds and the bees now, as proof?

Reflecting

I showcase them (the flirty pinup girls), because they make me happy and they make my laugh, they remind me what being a man is all about. Repress my vulgar outspoken finger and wicked tongue, but not my love of femininity and joyous playfulness of sexuality. Twisted logic and truth is the real perversion. However, there is no excuse for being a predator, and committing crimes against others (don’t take license with me). But repress not the flirts between adults engaged in the fine art of being human. I am so sick of the total criminalization of just being male! And that’s why the pinups, they are a celebration of freedom, and just being happy.

PS: The real reason Man put on clothes was not because he was aware he was naked, but because Eve was cold! The pinup girls are a part of the Venus Shop (see She’s here!).


Introducing Artist Brent Heighton

Those of you who already know Mr. Heighton might be a little offended. I meant to introduce him to the Smiley Clan is all.



This guy’s art reminds of the local artists that use to show in the park (in Highland) on Saturday Mornings, when I was a kid. Yes, my mother dragged me to many of these things. Sorry, I didn’t learn culture from them, I only learned boredom! None the less, their talents aways amazed me.

I know nothing about Brent, he hasn’t a Wiki-page(?). I know he authored a book, that sold 3000 copies a decade ago. Even art is hard to sell in book form. Good luck Brent, I understand.


Into the new

We’ve entered a new year, but maybe not so gracefully? I went in for a botched needle biopsy in the last few days. It’s just not a good way to start your year, with a punctured lung. I’ve got things to do, but I’ve got heal first. Screwing that up, is not at all a good idea!

I’m very surprised, and I mean very surprised, that I have nobody to give my award to for a Rose Parade Float, this year. That’s right, nobody! I’ll have to keep it for myself, I guess? My sarcastic award is for completely ignoring ‘The Theme’ for your own self-promotion. It can only be won the commercial interests in the parade. But they all seemed to be on their best behavior this year? I musta missed something?

This year was a first for me. I got up BEFORE the beginning of the parade, so I got to watch the whole thing live. Normally I watch about 2/3 live, and then another 1/2 on the encore, before I figure out where I came in at? But this year I watched it all, and bailed out to bowl games, bright and early. Kinda strange having two Rose Bowls though? But champions are always welcome in LA, and a few Trojans’ too.

Once I can’t take a deep breath without pain, I’m going to scratch ‘Take up Power Lifting’ and ‘Take up Marathon Running’ off my new year resolutions, while I’m thinking about it. ;) Maybe next year!


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