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Harold Stemple was a lonely old man, who took up with talking to his favorite cactus like he was a friend. At first the cactus tried to ignore this bizarre behavior, quite certain that at any moment the aged ape would begin tasting him for one reason or another. But alas head tilts and jesters did not bring about any attacks, though there were some close eye examinations, and some occasional shaking and flicking.

Day after day seem to start with the same routine, and after a while, the cactus actually started learning a word or two from the old man’s vocabulary. This did not add to cactus’s comfort level though, because this was still very bizarre behavior after all. So the cactus tried to turn away, only to discover that it was root bound, and therefore unable to do so. Once cacti can not talk, the favorite cactus tried to think his thoughts to the other cacti of just how lucky they all were not to be the target of this unwanted conversation. And he was absolutely right, the other cacti saw no need for him to try and talk to them, any more than having the water provider, talk to them. So they too, tried to turn their backs to him, only to find that they too were root bound and unable to do so, as well.

It should not be assumed that the unsocial behavior of the cacti made this an unhappy garden. It was a happy garden full of life and blooms. Although, the petunias always liked to be talked at, even by untrustworthy song birds. But Harold had nothing but obvious observation about them, he saved most of his conversation for his favorite antisocial cactus, to the jealously of the petunias which he was totally unaware of.

Pretty soon the cactus started to get smarter and think; “Good Harold morning. Pick me don’t up, and alone me!” He would try to telekinetic put into the human’s brain, to the entertainment and criticism of the other cacti, who as well were unaware of the fact that they were getting smarter too.

There is no point or end to this story. It’s only a ramble inspired by one of my favorite painters Carl Spitzweg, and all of his old men befriending cacti. Strangely if there is loneliness involved there a cactus involved in his paintings? My personal favorite is “Suspicious smoke” (not pictured here, but in the link), because if you’ve ever had a wildfire headed toward you, then you know why- it is a perfect representation of this kind of horrible event. Carl Spitzweg is kind of in the class of Norman Rockwell, in that many of his painting are kind of comical illustrations of people. Even if you don’t find them particularly funny, they are complicated enough to entertain me for hours, unlike Mr. Rockwell who actually bores me. It is a worthwhile waste of an hour or two to look up Carl Spitzweg Paintings on Wikimedia Commons.

I’ve got that summer fever for sure!
There is no time of year, including Christmas, that I look more forward to more than the first week of June. And why? Summer fruit suddenly hits the supermarket shelves, at a price I can afford. That’s why!
Mangoes, Peaches, and the OMG BING CHERRY, STRAWBERRY, I can’t sleep, for the taste of all that great nectar in my mouth. As a middle age fat slob, let me warn you now, your CPAP will not be happy with all that drooling going on under your mask all night.

It’s not just the FRUIT. It’s time to live on the patio again! Fire up the smoker and the grill, and plug in the fountain. And dig down to the bottom of the drawers and find my shorts, and pull the blankets from the bed, short sheet the corners, my feet are free-styling in the cool evening air.

Why I love it so; It’s the best temperature, the best food, and the best change of seasons of all year. Here in California Mountains, it’s also a heck of a lot of work doing fire abatement too. But Spring weeds are running out of pollen, so your head starting to clear, just before the Pines really start dumping their yellow powder, to mess your head all up again, as well as your windshield.

The birds start squawking and complaining outside the open windows at 5:30 AM just before first light. Yet, I can find a way to sleep through it all, into the late morning. That’s why I love the first week of June, it’s paradise, in every way it can be.

There are a lot of people who believe that GOD designed fruit look pretty, so you would eat it. In that case did he make poison dart frogs look bright and pretty so you would want to eat them too? You can always find a counter point to these goofy ideas. But flowers attract bees, which cross pollinate plants, which cause fruit to form,… As an omnivore you are lucking enough to join in the cycle of life and proliferation, even in consumption by ironically having a poor designed inefficient digestive system. But, at the same time, keep in mind that you share half your genes with a carrot!

Today, I look around and every single Liberal Blog, that I can think of is offering Alfred Gockel posters from All Posters, featuring the same one I picked out here.  I pride myself on thinking and going my own way.  I am not an echo chamber!  This site is PURE RANDYISM!

Now, I do understand that Gockel is the best selling modern artist in Europe.  And with good reason.  His colors are bold and lively, the themes are fluid and alive with activity.  You can’t view his work without some swing tune getting in your head, it’s just amazing.  But suddenly he’s over covered, everywhere, like an iPad!

Erh!  Besides, there aint no forkin money in selling posters, trust me!

This is not a response article to anything, I’ve had no complaints at all. It’s just something that has been on my mind for a long while, that I’d like you to understand about me.

I love Botticelli’s Birth of Venus, because it is nearly 600 years old, and it’s been a poke in the eye the whole time! And Big Red is HOT! And the fact that she’s being handed off to those sexually repressive humans that want to cover her up, cracks me up too.

I love the pinup girls, from the Farah (Sex hair) poster, to classics (airbrush masters), to even the Nude Center Fold models, because of their playful fun sexuality. I don’t showcase them because I’m some kind of a pervert (but maybe a little of that too), I do it because we are still on the wrong track emotionally.

When you look at the history of art (REALLY LOOK AT IT) and western civilization, it’s exactly where Christianity went wrong!!! Demonizing natural urges, really? What many of you may not realize is the Christian Church was founded on the belief that they were the very last generation, and you shouldn’t be pregnant when all hell breaks loose- which is totally laughable still! Sell everything, and give it to the poor, because you don’t need it, was the message for several generations. So while the pagan was out having fun… How did we survive 2000 years?

Many people fall in love with the Greek Myths even to this day, because of the joyous nudity of the art left behind. The Myths survived, because it was hard to repress it, and hide it, when it was so graphic on every broken pot found in your backyard!

Even the Renaissance was a dark age for art. It wasn’t until the rebellion of French in the 1860s, and their flailing around to compete with the new art of photography, that humans truly were reborn, and completely liberated in Western Culture. That’s why the cliché is a French Nude Painting over the bar in the western saloon.

Yet many of you “GOOD PEOPLE” are still repressed by silly superstition. I ask you one favor; Respect my lack of it, because I don’t believe for even one moment that God is the Cosmic NONSEXUAL Killjoy! This is not how he wanted you to be. Do you need a lesson in the birds and the bees now, as proof?

I showcase them (the flirty pinup girls), because they make me happy and they make my laugh, they remind me what being a man is all about. Repress my vulgar outspoken finger and wicked tongue, but not my love of femininity and joyous playfulness of sexuality. Twisted logic and truth is the real perversion. However, there is no excuse for being a predator, and committing crimes against others (don’t take license with me). But repress not the flirts between adults engaged in the fine art of being human. I am so sick of the total criminalization of just being male! And that’s why the pinups, they are a celebration of freedom, and just being happy.

PS: The real reason Man put on clothes was not because he was aware he was naked, but because Eve was cold! The pinup girls are a part of the Venus Shop (see She’s here!).

Those of you who already know Mr. Heighton might be a little offended. I meant to introduce him to the Smiley Clan is all.

This guy’s art reminds of the local artists that use to show in the park (in Highland) on Saturday Mornings, when I was a kid. Yes, my mother dragged me to many of these things. Sorry, I didn’t learn culture from them, I only learned boredom! None the less, their talents aways amazed me.

I know nothing about Brent, he hasn’t a Wiki-page(?). I know he authored a book, that sold 3000 copies a decade ago. Even art is hard to sell in book form. Good luck Brent, I understand.