The good egg (spoiler)?

Way way way back in the stacks of dust, dead and prayer books, and endless rambling epic poems, and other useless UFO information, with the centuries old bookworms no one has ever seen, and along with embossed fake Jesus images made in the 10th century by monks playing with the coffee stains, is the myth of the Egg that stands upright, only June 21 (the Apocalypse, no eclipse, no, no, Summer Solstice), only on the exact equator, only at exact high noon, all on it’s own. The more you want to replicate the trick, the more complex the conditions of moment always become, funny how that happens?

Well, I believe this trick originates out of ancient Egypt, it might just be the world’s oldest trick? The performer seems to be able to do this trick at will anywhere and any time, to everyone’s surprise and horror. How? Well by replicating all those completely impossible to humanly accomplish things at will, anywhere on the globe, just by being tapped in (special to God). Or by being the only sober man in the room. Or by spilling a little sand under the egg. It’s a sand trick! It’s those trying to explain the trick that keep piling on, and on, and on, to explain why it’s impossible- when clearly it is possible.

It’s always been the world stupidest trick!

In the modern world, the trick has evolved just a little tiny bit, in that sand was replace with a common table element (dust, rock, metal, whatever), called iodized table salt. But today the only one that is willing do the trick, are mischievous bartenders entertaining farsighted middle age people who aren’t getting laid tonight away, who have never heard of the world oldest, impossible, stupidest trick ever! I’m pressing that big 5o myself, you could even use kosher salt from the rim of my Margarita to fool me now, just shovel it down there. Hell, you could use a bag of rock salt on me now!

Salt is the world’s oldest preservative, they tell me. It must be, it’s kept this stupid trick alive!

What’s my point? Valerie Bertinelli is on the F’in cover AARP magazine!!! SOB- membership in AARP starts at 50, you know? Am I that old? Where are my glasses? I’ll be back in 20 minutes, unless this palming trick doesn’t work! Damn that old cougar looks good- I think? Maybe it does make you blind (eventually)? So do as I say, not as… And maybe drink some carrot juice.