Under the hat

Yet another Facebook article, I decided not to publish there for political reasons.

The latest Magic news; Last month the Amazing Randi finally outed himself.  Which his fans greeted with was sarcastic; “OMG!”  (I know most of you will never get that joke, but I just had to tell it anyway). The old curmudgeon complained that he hated to call himself by such an oxymoron term, at his age.  (Nothing right?  It’s a good joke, really!)

In related news; We’re all shocked to find out that David Copperfield isn’t gay, as he being sued for rape of a woman?  Oh, you can’t make this stuff up, folks.  I doubt that he will be convicted, who could believe such a story?

Here’s to keeping your hands on your own wand, guys!

I went into the basement, any child can tell you all secrets are stashed in the basement, someplace.  If they’re not, they should be!  In this case, it not so much an urban legend, but actually true.  I do keep my magic trunk in the basement.  And in the trunk are the assorted magic tricks of my collection.  I went there to retrieve the Hat Tear trick,  which is an old old party trick- and the box of 12 promised me that everything I needed, including patter and instructions was inside.  Well, it turned out to be a fine box full of less than attractive tissue paper, but no patter or instructions, as the outside box exclaims.

That must mean that those contents were GNUSTOed (transferred to) the Magic Book.  Every magician keeps one, you know?  Ask any 8 year old, or computer gamer!  Only it’s not pronounced book like any common book, it’s pronounced boo-ch.  That’s a German CH on the end.  Magic Boo-ch!  Every magician is required by Law of the Universe; to store His/Her Magic Boo-ch! in the cavity of a false wall or floor, in his basement.  Steal his boo-ch!  and you steal all his power, and he becomes your slave.  Taunting them with it, will cause them to beg and deal wildly if they can.  Reading their secrets out loud is actually known to make them cry and throw tantrums.  There is no greater power over the magician than his own notes, patter and staging ques, and dream tricks (real or imagined).   And no greater threat is ever made by an 8 year old than; “I will find your boo-ch! and learn ALL your tricks!”

Oh they mean it!  But they never succeed.  Why?  Because magicians aren’t suckers that keep all their tricks in one place, where any 8 year old can find them.  No, they are just a little bit brighter than an 8 year old, I’d say 10 is more their speed.

Well, this conjurer is a bit older than that.  About 4 decades older than that.  And just as you can imagine, a bit absent minded, and addle brained.  So, thinking like an 8 year old, I ran to the basement to find my Magic Boo-ch!  I can remember mine quite well.  It was deep navy blue hard bound book, with gold leaf edges, and gold Elvish letters on the cover (a personal touch).  It was only about 15 pages thick, used mostly to store instructions that were only read once before disposed of, into the book.  I had to find it to rediscover the secrets that are self working – no skill required – trick.  It didn’t say FOOL PROOF, now did it?  And this fool has lost but one thing in his whole life;  The Magic Boo-ch!  Wah!  I’ll have to check in the floor next time.